Vulnerability is not weakness. And that myth is profoundly dangerous. Vulnerability is the birthplace of creativity, innovation, and change – Brené Brown
Workspaces characterized by rewarded vulnerability enables employees to express themselves authentically at work and in behaviour that reflects who they really are and what they think or feel without the need to “mask” their true selves.
Vulnerability. A few words in the English language have the power to evoke strong reactions from people as this much maligned and much-misunderstood word.
Popularly association go vulnerability with weakness, fragility, shame and embarrassment, vulnerability has thus been banished into the badlands of the emotional landscape. There it festers into a toxic broth and simmers with the so called “difficult” emotions like shame, secrecy, and guilt. If you show too much of vulnerability, you risk being branded “erratic and wild,” too little vulnerability and you risk being branded “robotic!”
So, what exactly is vulnerability and how do we reclaim our right to re-engage meaningfully with this emotion? Let me begin with a personal example. Life has presented me with multiple challenges— professional and personal. However, in retrospect, I realize I have been able to navigate those challenges only because I’ve consciously and choicefully engaged with my vulnerability.
This means that I have been self-aware of every emotion/feeling that I would experience; be alive to them (without attempting to suppress, hide, fade or quick fix them into acceptable emotions to appear “strong”), and experience and express them appropriately. Doing so has reiterated that vulnerability is indeed the source of strength, courage, and authenticity.
“Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they are never weakness,” writes Brené Brown in Daring Greatly. Vulnerability is indeed an expression of authenticity. “Authenticity is a collection of choices that we must make every day. It is about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen,” writes Brene Brown.
How then do we leverage the power of vulnerability to create psychological safety at the workplace?
Organizational behaviour strategist Timothy Clark in The four stages of psychological safety writes that we thrive and flourish in spaces that support us through choice, respect, equity, equality, and dignity (CREED) and make us feel included, feel safe to learn, feel safe to contribute and feel safe to challenge the status quo. When teams and organizations sequentially advance through each of the four stages, they intentionally create psychologically safe spaces that are deeply inclusive, accelerate learning, nurture creativity and innovation and optimize contribution.
A few pointers to embed vulnerability as a tool to create psychological safety at the workplace
Acknowledge all your feelings and practice sharing them. Practice “checking in” with your feelings as often as possible. Are you feeling angry, frustrated, or delighted? Give yourself permission and time to engage with those emotions/feelings and wait for the insights to unfold. Then share your experience with the team.
Practising vulnerability takes time and patience. The workspace offers us several micro and macro moments to become comfortable with expressing our vulnerability. For example, I am going through a recent bereavement. In the early days, friends and colleagues who knew of the incident, asked me “How are you?”
Instead of replying on auto pilot mode with an “I am fine,” I chose to respond, “At the moment I don’t know how to respond to that question.” I felt comfortable to express my discomfort. I am not sure how my friends and colleagues felt. Even if they did feel uncomfortable with my expression of vulnerability, which was OK. We need to normalise expression of discomfort while engaging with vulnerability. Otherwise, we reinforce the status quo of being disengaged with vulnerability—both ours and that of others.
Practice selective vulnerability. Expressing vulnerability is not about self-disclosure or oversharing. Selective vulnerability is about maintaining a fine balance between sharing that builds trust and oversharing that does not serve the purpose.
Preserve and respect boundaries. From vulnerability springs authenticity. Being vulnerable is not about flaunting intimate details of your life. It is choosing what to share, how much to share and with whom to share. It really is contextual. According to Brené Brown, we must set boundaries, maintain our integrity, and still make the most generous assumptions (BIG) about others as possible. Doing so enables us to be true to ourselves and compassionate and respectful of others.
Ask questions that spark meaningful conversations Encourage your team to talk about their emotions and feelings by asking open ended questions and practising active listening. Avoid the temptation to react or problem solve.
Follow up with actionables People feel seen and heard if they can see that you are committed to change if you act based on their needs and concerns.
Vulnerability is the core of being human. It is a powerful tool to radically humanize the workplace. It is when we experience vulnerability and the associated risks and uncertainties that we need to feel comfortable with the discomfort, lean into the vulnerability, listen to difficult conversations, and stay the course.
All this takes courage. But then isn’t vulnerability another word for courage?
