LGBTQIA+ people do not fit the stereotypes that people have of them. They cannot be identified on the basis of mannerisms or physical characteristics. People who are lesbian, gay or bisexual come in as many different shapes, colours and sizes as do people who are heterosexual. Lesbian, gay and bisexual people are different from one another just like heterosexual people are different from one another. They have different personalities, likes, dislikes, strengths and weaknesses, like everyone else.
The Blue Book, TARSHI
It’s the Pride Month (June) once again. A month where we celebrate, acknowledge openly the experience and expression of diverse forms of sexuality and enlist the support of people to create Safe Inclusive Supportive and Affirmative spaces (SISA)—both at work and home—for people who self-identify on the LGBTQIA+ spectrum.
Sex and sexuality is woven into the very fabric of our lives. In the early 1970s and thereafter, it was common to talk of sex education. Basically, it meant a bookish knowledge of reproductive anatomy! It usually was left to the discretion of the biology teacher who often glossed over it! Or if the schools branded themselves ‘progressive’, they usually invited an Obstetrician & Gynecologist or a “sex education expert” to address this ‘embarrassing’ subject!
However, since then the discourse around human sexuality has grown enormously. Today we look at sex (the physical act of intimacy between two human beings) as one aspect of sexuality. Sexuality is an intrinsic part of being human. However, we need to remember that sexuality is a human construct. Therefore, it is vulnerable to subjective interpretations and value judgments, wrapped in sacrosanct morality. It is this that generates a fog of taboos, myths and misconceptions that make it so difficult for people to navigate the uncharted ocean of sexuality with clarity and sense of direction.
In response to these concerns, globally there has been a growing recognition of the need to introduce Comprehensive Sexuality Education (CSE) with a rights based, affirmative and sex-positive approach.
The key elements in such an approach include the following:
- Sexual confidence
- Sexual literacy
- Empowerment
- Competence
- Consensuality
- Reciprocity
Confidence and competence do not just mean feeling ready and able to have sex, but having self-esteem and communication skills and feeling empowered to make informed choices, not only about sex but also wider sexual health and rights issues.
Sex-positive approaches strive to achieve ideal experiences, rather than solely working to prevent negative experiences. At the same time, sex-positive approaches acknowledge and tackle the various concerns and risks associated with sexuality without reinforcing fear, shame or taboo of young people’s sexuality and gender inequality.
IPPF (International Planned Parenthood Federation), Keys to Youth-Friendly Services: Adopting a sex-positive approach
All of us need to have accurate, inclusive and non-stigmatizing information about sex and sexuality so that we can make responsible and informed choices about our lives.
Why talk about sex & sexuality?
Sexuality is an important part of people’s lives. However, sexuality is more than just the physical act of sex. As we are aware, the term sex refers to the biological difference between females and males present at birth (based on the gender binary model). These include anatomical differences such as the presence of a vagina or penis; genetic differences present in a person’s chromosomal makeup; or physiological differences such as menstruation or sperm production.
However, sex, like gender, is not binary. Scholars suggest that there might actually be anywhere between five and twenty sexes. Biological sex is determined by chromosomes, which are thought to only be present in two possible combinations – XX, and XY. However, they may combine in many more ways – XXY, XYY, XXX – and these diverse combinations influence the appearance of genitals. People who have both male and female sex characteristics are known as having an intersex condition.
Sexuality as a concept has been examined for many years. There are a number of definitions that cover the various components of sexuality. While there is no single agreed upon definition, the definition of sexuality below provides a basic and fairly comprehensive understanding of sexuality.
WHO draft working definition (2006)
Sexuality is a central aspect of being human throughout life and encompasses sex, gender identities and roles, sexual orientation, eroticism, pleasure, intimacy and reproduction.
Sexuality is experienced and expressed in thoughts, fantasies, desires, beliefs, attitudes, values, behaviours, practices, roles and relationships. While it can include all of these dimensions, not all of them are always experienced or expressed. Sexuality is influenced by the interaction of biological, psychological, social, economic, political, cultural, ethical, legal, historical and religious and spiritual factors.
The definition of sexuality appears to be long. Why is it important to have such a long definition? What does this detailed definition tell us about sexuality?
Most of us are aware that sexuality is an important, sensitive and personal issue. Yet why is there such stigma, shame, secrecy and silence surrounding it? How many of us are comfortable about a free, frank and informed discussion about sex and sexuality?
Rights based approach to sex and sexuality
The Universal Declaration of Human Rights (UDHR, 1948), a landmark document from the United Nations asserts that every human being has a right to a life of dignity, equality, health and information. From a human rights perspective, sexuality is a basic human right. This means that each of us has the following sexuality related rights:
Right to:
- Accurate information about sexuality
- Express or not express one’s sexuality based on personal choice
- Make decisions about one’s sexuality
- Not coerced into being physical or sexual
- Say ‘no’ to unwanted touch of any kind
In this sense informed perspectives on sex and sexuality is an essential life skill that enable us to lead responsible, happy and fulfilled lives. It also lays the foundation that enables us to develop an intentionally inclusive mindset that is supportive of diversity in sexuality and sexual expression. In doing so, we take the first steps towards allyship based on the four pillars—Choice, Respect, Equity, Equality Dignity (CREED).
Watch this space to read Dr. Nandini Murali discuss different facets of a topic over a month. Offering a 360-degree view, she takes readers into the different dimensions through anecdotes, backing them with data.
